hmmm ..

The last few weeks have been pretty crazy. It seems all 3 kids have decided to be in moods. I guess it wouldn't be so bad if just one of the kids were in a mood, but when its all 3 its the constant crying that really grates on my nerves. One would start, get them settled, the other would start, I would get them settled and then the last one started. It has been a pretty awful few weeks. The thing that gets me is when they are crying most of the time I can't do anything but sit there and let them figure out what it is they are crying about. You don't just cry just to cry. I have the hardest time not walking up to them, picking them up in my arms and squeezing them as tight as I can and make it all go away. But I know thats not the way for them learn. I know it .. but its still hard. But I keep reminding myself that they are my kids. They are my responsibility. We all have bad days, we all want to cry sometimes, and kids, well, they just do it. They don't think, will it make me look bad? Will it make me look weak? What will everyone else think? Sometimes I wish I could do that. Just let go.

The last couple of days have been better. Its funny how on the bad days you think they will never go away, you wake up and you forget the "bad things" they have done the day before. All you see is a smiling face running up to you to give you a hug, a little boy who takes your cheeks, pinches and stretches them out and says, "whats up dude" , a little girl who has such an active imagination you can't help but pretend to drink from her play cup or the shovel she insists needs to go in your mouth. And just the smiles .. they make the bad days seem like a lifetime ago .. there smiles make your heart melt with love, and you can't imagine not having them there.