Lately I have been dealing with one issue in particular. Its involves people so names will not be mentioned. I have been thinking, why am I sitting here, almost 5 years later worrying about if they are still mad at me? Why? I did NOTHING wrong. I am sitting here worrying and worrying, trying to make things right to no avail. Why?
I believe Sunday morning, the sermons are meant for one (or more, but atleast one person). That person will listen and then BAM it hits them like a wall. He is talking about me. He is talking about my problem I am dealing with now. So yours ears perk up, you get your pad ready to write down notes or verses or even both. You get your mind ready to soak in all the words they are saying. You get rid of (at least try, that's pretty hard with kids) distractions around you. Your whole attention, your whole mind is on the Preacher or speaker and their words. Last night was my night. This problem has been going on for almost 5 years now. And I recently made another effort to make the past behind us. I thought it has been plenty of time to see how ridiculous they were being and see that it wasn't worth it. They missed 3 of our kids being born, they missed their first birthdays, their first Christmas' and why? Because their feelings were hurt. (Not intentionally mind you, and Jarred and I both still feel to this day that we did nothing wrong). Anyways, tried and tried nothing. Not a hi, not an acknowledgement nothing. So last night, something our Preacher quoted, and I want to say Nixon said this but not 100% , do not let your enemies dictate your attitude, you are a child of God, and that alone dictates your attitude. That and only that. That was exactly the reminder I needed last night. I love that and hope I remember that through out my life and the rest of my days.
2 comments:
If we learn nothing else from the lesson, it is that we do not ever want to be like this person or persons. I think that keeping that in the forefront of our brains and being sure we don't do the exact thing to someone else is a lesson we can all learn from the experience. I love you and look at it in that if they so choose to not be a part of your life, then it is their loss not yours.
So there with not letting the past go! Not in terms of holding grudges but wondering why "that" went down the way it did - wanting to make amends or at least peace within yourself. It's hard stuff. I'm thinking about you.
I keep meaning to comment this on your blog. How old is Julie now?! She's a little girl. So adorable...
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