I have come to realize that everything I do, write or say comes from influence from someone/something else. I am no longer going to keep thinking that I am doing what I do to be a good wife or because Jarred "expects" it from me. I am doing it because I am taking care of my family and because I love them. I will no longer be losing weight to fit in to what our culture thinks of as "beautiful". I will lose it because I want too. I will never fit into the clothes I had from highschool. I had two kids and got married. Thats all part of growing up. I will no longer try and fit the "mold" of what a "good" wife is. I will be myself. Thats who Jarred married and thats who he wants. I will no longer think of anything as mine. What is mine is Jarreds and the kids. (although I will still have my time) this week got me thinking about how "fake" I am sometimes. Not really on the outside, but my thoughts. Wanting to get thin because I want to fit in, or because people look at me and dont think twice about asking the "fat girl" to join them. I will no longer be another statistic for something I dont believe in.