Things for me to Remember

So the past month and a half has been a very, very, very difficult time for me. It seemed everything was just building up and building up, and not getting better. This last week really got to my emotions. I would find myself locking myself in the bathroom and just crying. Crying because nothing was going how I wanted it to go, crying because I was miserable and worse of all questioning God as to WHY this stuff was happening with me. Why was I the one that got all this crap thrown on to me? Then I realized the word I was using. I. What a rotten rotten word to use when something is going wrong. The last time I was crying I started talking to God. Not praying but talking. (And no not out loud). I was asking, is this what its suppose to feel like when I am trying to help someone? Is this what its suppose to feel like when I shut my mouth when someone says something or does something hurtful to me? Is this what it feels like when I feel as if no one cares about my feelings as long as they say and do whatever they please? Then again I noticed the word I was using. My. Another rotten word. Then for some reason Bible verses popped into my head. I won't say one because that will totally give away one of my stress-er- out-er's but my all time favorite is 1 Corinthians 13:13 - "And these three remained, faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." And then my other all time favorite verse popped in, 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 - "Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails." And then the last one to pop into my head, 1 Corinthians 13:11 (can you tell I like 1 Corinthians?!) "When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things."

The bolded words/phrases are the ones that I kept repeating to myself over and over and the italicized ones are the ones I also kept repeating and also prayed about.

That day Jarred asked me if I prayed for patience. My response was, "patience is the last thing you pray for!!! Why in the world would I pray for that?!?!!?!" and started laughing .. atleast I can still laugh. So for anyone who has been waiting for a response or e-mail from me I am sorry for not responding. I am getting better and will hopefully be back in my "groove" here shortly.